A TrAgiC SuNDaY....

I thought I was going to die...

In that split seconds, I couldn't think much, the only thoughts whirling in my head were my kids, disbelief that what I feared so much all this while was actually happening to us and death.

One word escaped my mouth in that split seconds, and I remembered this so vividly:

"Astaghfirullahal'Adzim!!"

And I wasn't just saying it, I was screaming the word, repeatedly.

I thought I was going to die... 

On the spur of the moment, I thought of death and I wanted Allah to forgive all my sins...

Oh my, it was all so terrifying...

Alhamdulillah.... Nothing happened to us... But it was terrifying enough... 

It all happened within seconds, now I understand why some people described moments of accident as 'split seconds', some people described it as 'slow motion' and I think I've experienced both.. Huhu..

How it happened? 

Hubby was driving on the right lane of a three lanes highway, we were heading to Kuala Lumpur after two nights stay in Hubby's hometown in Perak. We were only half an hour away from my mom's home in Gombak (our pit stop) when it started raining heavily, and he was driving within speed limit, but somehow as he was driving around a corner, I noticed the car infront of us starting to blur..

 Sensing danger, I glimpsed at the speed my hubby was cruising at: 109km/h

I couldn't be wrong, because it was a digital speed reader. 

Ok, he was driving within speed limit, so I didn't tell him to slow down, but within seconds, I couldn't see the car infront of us anymore and more water was splashing on the windscreen and I was about to tell him to "slow down, shouldn't be driving at this speed when it's raining, and I couldn't see a thing ahead of us..." 

But..... 

It was too late, the next thing I knew, we were heading towards the devider in the middle of the highway, and...

"Baaaannnnnnggggg!!!"

The car skidded, spun out of control, and came to a halt on the left lane. 

Everything happened so fast, within seconds, but while the car was spinning, I remember experiencing the slow motioness of it... Weird.. But that's how I felt.

And it was terrifying, that's for sure. 

We were spinning accross the three lanes highway, and what I couldn't get my mind off until today was the question: 

"What if?"

WHAT IF there was a bus or a lorry or even a car heading at us at high speed while our car went out of control? WHAT IF that happened?? It could be more severe and any of us could have suffered a serious injury! Or it could turned out to be fatal!

But, non of that happened, Syukur alhamdulillah, Allah protected us! :')

"Ya Allah, ya Allah!" Those were Fatini's words when the car came to a halt.

The first thing I did was turn around and checked on them, and... 

Ya Allah, I couldn't express how relieved I was at the sight of them, all ok, unhurt... 

Not a single injury, even though Fatini and Aleena was crying terribly, and they were both so shaky. :(

Afeef was sleeping when the accident was about to occur but was awaken by the sound of the impact and he said he was confused and as the car went out of control, he'd knocked his head on the door..

But, again alhamdulillah, nothing serious happened, just a little bump on the head. 

The next thing I noticed was the wreckage in front of us.. A little smoke, or perhaps mist from the rain??

I coudn't be so sure...

The next next thing I was aware of, was the possible danger we were exposed to, we were still on the highway though on the left lane, but still all the other cars were all speeding by, and.... 

I was really not ready for another shock, all I wanted was to get out of that highway and the car and hugged my kids tightly..

Ok ok, in that state of panick, we didn't know what to do, so when we've calmed down a bit, and resumed our self control, hubby moved the car forward just under the flyover where there were lots of motorcyclists waiting for the rain to stop to resume their journey.

One of the motorcyclists asked us to get out of the car as there were sparks of fire coming out from the engine. Ok, ok, so hurriedly I took the kids out of the car and ushered them to safety, and hubby made a call for help... Ohhhh... We were all sooooooo shaky.... Huhu...

And that's when I have my first look at the damage...

There....

Can you even tell what car is this?

Despite how relieved I was that no one was hurt, my heart wrenched with sadness at the sight of this :'(

Hubby used to refer to this car as:

"Your car.."  (",)

He let me drive this car everyday to pick the kids up from school, while he drives the smaller and older car, and I've always felt so proud of this. Proud to have a husband like him who always gives priorities to his wife and kid's comfortability :)

Hubby always wanted Proton as our first car, but I've always told him to get a good car because we'll be travelling a lot. And I've never regretted that we bought this Honda Civic. And after the accident, I couldn't agree more on choosing this car as our first car. 

The car and its VSA (Vehicle Stability Assist) system had helped us in some ways during the accident. After the impact and as the car went out of control, the VSA system took over and helped stabilized the car, and also helped to prevent overturned.

Of course, without Allah's will, even the best car on earth couldn't protect us, but, with some efforts and doa, insyaAllah, we can minimize unwanted disaster. 

Right... ???

Nevertheless, alhamdulillah, we've escaped the accident UNHURT!!! 

I couldn't ask for more, I don't care about the car.... 

I felt like, we've been given a chance. I'm thankful for that accident eventhough it was all so terrifying, but it really taught us a valuable lessons, and of course remind us that death could come anytime. As long as we are still breathing on this earth, we are actually given a chance, and sometimes we are not aware of all the chances Allah SWT has given us until it was all too late!

And it's not too late for us just yet...

So grab this chance while we still have them!

After the accident, a few people asked if we recite anything as a protection or have we made doa, and of course, frankly speaking, I've always feared accident, and on the road whether I was the one driving or hubby was the one, zikir or Quranic verses never leave my lips. 

Sometimes I recite them nonstop!

The same thing happened last Sunday too, just moments before that accident, I was still reciting:

"حَسْبِيَ اللَّهُ لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا هُوَ ۖ عَلَيْهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ ۖ وَهُوَ رَبُّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ"

(Allah is all-sufficient for me. There is no god but Him. In Him I have put my trust. He is the Rabb of the Mighty Throne.)

But does this mean that nothing could ever happen to me?

And can I asked, "How could this happened?? I thought Allah would protect us? I've asked help from Allah SWT, again and again, but why didn't He helped?"

Should I say that???!!!!

No no no!

Not even a thought okay, let alone say it out loud.... 

Because, Allah SWT had actually helped, He's the best Protector, He had helped us survived the accident UNHURT!!

 Not a single scratch nor wound.

And even though it was a traumatic experience for the kids, they've recovered pretty fast.

I put my trust in Allah always, the accident happened just as a reminder for us from Allah SWT, because He loves us, He wants us to think, to realise our mistakes, to bring us back on the right path... 

The accident made me think, it made me think a lot, it made me want even more strongly now to be closer to Him more than ever before!

This worldly lives don't matter much anymore, and for the first time I really don't care about my life in KL Germany, It doesn't matter where I live my life, what matters is, how it ENDS...

Last two day's accident was a huge impact for me, and it changed me....

And us too...

Yesterday, I went to my favourite place again, I found serenity here....

I just sat on the grass staring at the sun, the kids weren't with me, I was alone, and I couldn't help crying, because... 

I'm still alive! 

I still have my chance to do lots and lots of Ibadah...

For the first time since we reached Malaysia, I felt so free, the suffocation and all the feelings of being trapped have all gone..

I felt so serene....

Though I have no idea when will death greet me, but last two days, I've experienced the moment when I actually thought my time has come and that really made the difference in my life. :'(

InsyaAllah...

May Allah SWT take us in the best way...

Till later, Salam...