6 More days.....

6 more days...

6 more days, and I'm gonna have to put all these behind...

6 more days, and I'm gonna have to let go...

6 more days, and I'm gonna have to start a new life... 

A new beginning... 

But...

It feels so...... Wrong...

A few months ago, I was super excited to leave..

The idea alone made me feel so alive.

But, as we are nearing the day, the emptier my heart feels...

As empty as the house as more and more stuffs being packed in a box or thrown away..

The more I watched Afeef so close to tears whenever he talked about how sad he is to leave his best friends, the more my heart sinked.. There were times, when sadness was too overwhelming that I felt my throat constrict, and my chest felt heavy that I felt like as if I'm choking.. 

Haaaiiiihhh... Can you believe this??

Yeah yeah... That's me... I became extremely emotional these days..

It is way past midnight  now, and midnight is the time where sadness reach its peak... Oh so much memories playing in my head over and over again.... 

 I found it hard to sleep lately, coz I hate waking up in the morning and know that I have less days in Deutschland. 

I've been waiting to watch the last snow fall, but seemed like there'll be no snow fall this year.. 

Aha.... Tak de rezeki...

I know, I'll miss Deutschland terribly...

I know only time will heal....

Only time will heal.... 

Till later, Assalamualaikum wbt... 

 :')

The Kampung Boy...

Assalamualaikum wbt..

Ehem..... 

I have so many drafts now, but I must complete this one even though tomorrow another huge event is coming up ahah!

I have to update this, 10am, 11/12/13 ~~ What a beautiful date...... My heart was beating furiously, I kept praying for him... 

May Allah SWT make everything smooth and easy for him...

And Alhamdulillah..

He made it...

He always says, "I'm just a Kampung Boy...."

Well, this Kampung boy, who once knew not a single word in English, now made a speech in full and fluent English and he speaks Deutsch too!

This Kampung boy had just made his mother, his wife, children, brother, sisters, and professors so proud.

This Kampung boy, just proved that anything is possible if only we work hard to achieve our goal and believe in Allah SWT. 

This Kampung boy is now so far far away from his Kampung but, his heart is always always there... 

His dream to go back to his country to serve his people is now achievable...

He had just passed his PhD with flying colors!!

This Kampung boy..... who has always been so humble...

I'm so so so so so so so proud of you...

I can't even express my gratitude to Allah SWT. May He guide us through, always always......

                           
                    
                          And he was the King of the day too!!!

The best part was of course when they announced his success...

 I was close to tears...

The next best part was when hubby introduced me to his Professor and one of the thing he said about hubby was that he's so proud of him... 

Owwwwwhhhhh... I was touched...

The next next best thing was when the food was served.....

Because I prepared everything myself hehe

Of course with Hubby's help the previous day :)

The next next next best part was when Hubby announced that I cooked the meal, and they all clapped their hands for me!!

Oh my... it was sooooo Memorable.. 

I'll never ever forget those moments, ever insyaAllah :')

And the next next next next best part was when most of them seemed like they really enjoyed the meal, some even had a second round.

It was such an honor to serve them :)

And the next next next next next best part was when each came to me and thanked me and gave compliments about the food...

Well, yeah, they would definitely say that the food was delicious even when it's not that delicious, but I really appreciate the courtesy :)

And I felt.... honored.... and satisfied...

and... Thankful!!

Eh???

Well...... that's all for today...

I have too many stories which I don't know when will I ever have the time to share, but....

I'm currently really excited to go back to our home country, but at the same time, I'm also very very sad...

I put my trust in Allah... a 100% trust... for He knows what is best for us...

Life is too short, let's live it to the fullest...

And... 

To Dr. Ing Azmir Azhari,

The tittle doesn't matter to me, those efforts, determinations, positive attitudes, and your humbleness, that's what matters...

May this success bring us closer to Him.

Congratulations my dear Hubby, the Kampung Boy :)

He had turned 9 last wednesday...

6th November 2004, the day I'd for the first time experienced birth pain....

The day I swore I would never get pregnant again... Hehe

And now I have 3 kids hehehe..

Ok, ok, so it was Afeef's birthday last Wednesday, his 9th birthday!

Alhamdulillah!

And really, feels like yesterday that I'd given birth to him...

Mmmm.... Stop exagerating, maybe it doesn't really feel like yesterday, more like a few days ago, or maybe a few months ago, or a year ago, ok, to be exact, it feels like a few years ago, or let just be accurate, it feels like 9 years ago that I'd given birth to him..

And yes, it's been 9 years!!!

Ok, how do I describe him as my son...?

I think he's very sensitive, kind-hearted, obedient, caring, and...

Of course all mothers will say that about their child!

     

                      Well, he certainly is caring and a responsible brother too...

 Always takes good care of his two little sisters..

And they both love him so much! The only big brother for them!

And he is loved by his friends, especially his best friend Luan... (",)

Picnic together with 2 'penyibuk'

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... Warms the heart kan?

Solat sama-sama... :')

He is the Imam now to his sister, will be the Imam for the whole family one day insyaAllah :)

At Florian's birthday party last month (",)

And, he is super duper excited for this year's birthday because he will have all his favorite friends over, and they will catch a movie, a little game at home, cakes, presents etc etc...

We all stayed up late last Wednesday after a little celebration (papa bought a cake, eh why didn't I bake one? Eheh, I also don't know why hehe!!)

And we've prepared these invitation cards together, all on our own, from searching the best photos on internet, to printing, cutting, pasting etc etc)

Afeef was so excited that night and tonight was even more!

Because tomorrow is the big day for him!

So, tomorrow is the real celebration, I am so sleepy right now, but I just have to update this, because I was supposed to make an entry for his birthday last wednesday, but I just been a bit busy and I can't delay this anymore. 

So, to my Afeef:

My doa is always with you, and when you read this entry someday, know that you are one of the most precious, priceless gift I've ever had my whole life...

You complete Us! 

(",)

Assalamualaikum wbt...

How do you define Happiness?

You can have so many people around you but yet your heart is empty...

Or you can have not a single person around and yet your heart is full...

But as for me, this is the real key to happiness:

Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah . Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured." Ar-Rad: 28

And this song too... My all time favorite :)

it 

Nowadays, this song means so much to me... You know, for someone like me who'd just discovered the real meaning of happiness... (",)

I've been contemplating on whether I should quit playing piano or not? 

It doesn't feel right anymore to play musical instruments, but it doesn't feel right to quit

either...

Everytime I feel so sure to quit, there's always a comment on You Tube that made me change my mind again..

How can I quit when some people  benefit a lot from my videos....

Ok, lets get to today's story~~~~ I have successfully undergone a medical procedure which I feared since I was a child.. Ahah! 

Endoscopy that is...

So scared that I could barely concentrate on anything for these past few days..

But friends keep telling me, 

"Don't worry so much, Allah is near!"

Yesss it's true, Allah is near, no one can help reduce my fear, prevent me from any possible complications, not even these expert German doctors! Even though Germany is well advanced in medical facilities, I'm not convinced... 

So, I had an appointment at 7.30am this morning, barely had a good sleep last night too, and I went alone, I kept praying to Allah to make everything smooth...

On the verge of tears I entered the operation room when they called my name..

This procedure is probably nothing to some people, but for me who have had so much fear for this since I was small, it was NO NOTHING... It was scary... I wouldn't have gone through it if it wasn't for Allah who had given me the strength..

Really, I could feel the strength in me that I couldn't describe... A strength that was never there when I was supposed to undergo an Endoscopy about a year ago..... Yeah yeah, they made an appointment for me before but I'd never turned up hehe.. 

So, the best part was, today they asked me whether I want to sleep or wide awake while they perform the procedure.

Of course, I chosed to sleep... 

Despite that, I still had this tiny fear for something like this: 

      "What if I wake up in the middle of the procedure?"

      "What if I sleep, but could feel everything? And won't be able to do anything! 

        Oh Nooooo!"

        Again, "Allah is near..."

So, one of the nurse sprayed something at the back of my throat.. Wild thoughts spinning in my head... 

I felt like running out the door.... I've never had any serious stomach pain, do I really need this??

I'm putting myself at risks of complications for having an Endoscopy!

Again, "Allah is near..... "

Who's your best protector other than Allah right??"

I shouldn't fear and I should have faith in Allah..

Besides, this is my chance to discover if there's anything wrong inside, and certainly in a country far more advanced than Malaysia. I might have to go through Endoscopy eventually, either here or Malaysia?

So, when the doctor asked me to lie down, my heart was pounding so bad, I looked at the watch: 8.20am

And I told the Doctor to make sure that I'll sleep through out, and my voice quivered when I told him I don't want to remember any of these... 

He said "Sure, don't worry.." and I saw him preparing the needle and all, and I remember thinking, 

"Oh, when was the last time I had an injection, this will definitely hurt a bit, and I looked away, and........

 That's it... 

I woke up suddenly, briefly in a different room, with blurred vision, and feeling confused...

"Where am I? Why am I here?"

And I saw one elderly lady lie down next to my bed. I fell asleep again and woke up again to a voice waking me up. 

Feeling confused again, I looked at my watch, 9.30am!

Then it hit me! Oh, I was supposed to have an Endoscopy! Was it done?

The elderly had gone, only the nurse was there, and she was the one waking me up.. 

I asked her if they had done Endoscopy on me? And she said yes with a smile that tells me:

 "I understand.... It's normal to feel confuse..." Hehe...

She asked me if I was ok, she asked me to stand up and walk, I swayed a bit, my head spinning, and I felt dizzy... and then she helped me out the door..

      

But the funny thing was, how come I had no memory at all of being injected? I thought I was supposed to feel sleepy only after the injection, but I had no memory at all of being injected nor feeling sleepy! It's like a blink of an eye, and I was out even before being injected! What kind of a drug was that??!!! 

Phewwwwwww...... 

Nevertheless, I'm glad that it's all over now... Guess who helped pick me up at the clinic?

While hubby had to stay at home with the kids as kids presence are strictly prohibited during the procedure, Lily offered to help, she came and picked me up, not just that, she looked really concerned too.. That made me so close to tears again... :')

Lily and Victor are the ones who have been encouraging me to go through this.. And she helped me today with so much care and concern that I just had to hug her tightly before she left me at home....

We don't need so much, just a few are enough to make us feel complete..

Alhamdulillah...

So, fear not, for Allah is near... (",)

Till later, Assalamualaikum...

Moments.....(",)

Assalamualaikum wbt....

What's new?

We are going to leave Germany for good soon, insyaAllah this December, and guess what??!!

I can't wait! Very very excited, which is unlike me, who loves life in Germany so much...

I just wanna be positiv in everything, and appreciate all that Allah has given me and us!!

And, coincidently, Mike and Mara are leaving too...

Before us!!

So, we had dinner together last Tuesday at their place, so as to celebrate our remaining few days together. 

The kids was sooooooo excited, they love Mike soooo much..

Fatini prepared a drawing of Mike and Mara, but unfortunately I forgot to snap the pic!

Silly me... Hehe..

Haaaaaaaaaa there the lovely dinner!!!

Eh, lemang kah itew?

Ahah, yes it is 'lemang' and 'rendang' I prepared earlier for Aidiladha celebration :)

Mara had made a lovely Puerto Rican dish which I loved! 

And again, I forgot to snap.....

Taaaddaaaaaaaaa..... The lovely couple...

The lovely, sweet, romantic couple, they just got married a few weeks ago.

And they promised to visit us in Malaysia later, and I hope to see Mike and Mara junior by then... Hehe..

Desert time! Seriously, one of the best caramel pudding I've ever tasted.... I'm not a caramel pudding fan, but this one is an exceptional.... What a good cook she is.. :) and the kids loved the pudding too..

After dinner's over, the kids had a blast playing with Mike... Mike would always always entertain them anywhere, everywhere.... The kids just love him.. It's kinda sad that we have to go on our own separate ways... :( 

I wish we could be neighbors longer....

Part of Life ~~ Meet and Depart...

But memories of these will remain...

And most importantly, I'd learnt valuable lessons from each and everyone I've met here, they have filled some missing puzzles of my life and added colors to it, and I'm glad!!

Alhamdulillah...

Ps: There's a lot I wanna share, but I hardly have the time to write...

InsyaAllah I'll write about our trip to one of the biggest International Book fair last Sunday, where we met many Malaysian, where the most terrifying experience happened to me the same day, (I've lost Aleena huhu)..... 

That is a long story, I'll write about that later, right now, I have a headache... 

Dapat daging kambing kurban sebesar peha Aleena hehe, eh, ke lagi besar dari peha Aleena?

Pekena sup kambing sepanjang hari, mana tak pening hehe.. 

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa tu dia..... 

Syukur Alhamdulillah... (",)

Till later, Assalamualaikum... (",)