Saturday, January 18, 2014

A Place, I once called... HOME...


Assalamualaikum wbt...

So, it's been 3 weeks....? 
Really??
Felt like years..... Ahah... Time is too slow for those who wait..... 
Errrr..  what am I waiting for?? 

I don't know.... 
My mind keep spiraling around the same thing everyday;

Our first day in Deutschland, Afeef's first day at kindergarten, Afeef's first day at school, Fatini's first day at kindergarten, the route I used to take to fetch Afeef from school during his first few months schooling, the route I used to take fetching Fatini from Kindergarten, the beautiful views that often took my breath away.... Our home there... I miss the smell of the cool air, I miss to see the beautiful light casted by the sun particularly during Spring and Autumn when the sun's slanting at an angle casting a very very beautiful light that makes the view so much like in a fantasy land... 
I miss to watch sunsets from our window...






I miss the library where I used to take the kids after school.. I miss the coffee there, the kind and friendly people, tadarus friends, the shops, the cleanliness, the freedom form worrying... I miss to walk alone and feel safe.. I miss to sit by the window, sip my hot coffee, watch people go by for their daily routine, and I miss the tranquility I've always felt there.... Yes... That's it... Tranquility....
That tranquility I used to feel is no longer with me....  replaced by something else... Something that makes me feel trapped, suffocated.... Haaiiiiihhhh... Mmmmmm... I still can't let it go huh? Seemed like it.

Hubby said, "Your life began there.. That's why you miss Deutschland so much..."

Yess it's true.. My life began there... 
So much I've learnt in Deutschland too... 


Nevertheless, no matter how empty my heart feels sometimes, I remain composed infront of the kids, so that they too will not long for the life we've once had, let it just be the most beautiful memories that will remain intact in our hearts. 
Life has to go on...

I'm not going to waste my time reminisce about the past, instead I will make our life here as meaningful as it once was. Though sometimes I couldn't help myself hehe... It became a routine now that I must click to see the weather in Kaiserslautern Germany everyday, and stare into space once in a while thinking about that beautiful feelings and times we had there, and browse through old photos during our early months there....
Only time will heal.... 



On the positive sides, a lot of things have fallen neatly into places... 
Like, we've got a car, a home within the first week in Malaysia with Afeef's school just a few steps away, and what's more? 
Afeef is adapting well with the new environment in school, and picking up well with all the subjects too. And he already has some friends. And he seemed happy too.. Alhamdulillah..

Fatini just started kindergarten 3 days ago, and surprisingly she likes her new kindergarten very much, and she got along well with everyone there.... Though the kindergarten is not as nice as the one she went to in DE, but she likes it!! What else should I want?? The kid's happiness is my priority and that is all that matters to me ;)

I used to say this before, "If Allah wants us to be happy, we will be happy, no matter where we live our life.." 
I strongly believe in this, this is infact my strength nowadays, because I know, sometimes the only way for us to achive something or to be happy with our life, is to first go through what we despise and be patient with it. I'm certain, as long as I put my trust in Allah, there's something more for me to learn here, something more meaningful awaits me..... What I have in Deutschland was just some part of it, what I'm gonna have in Malaysia is the rest of it... InsyaAllah...

Some photos from our last day in DE:


The last night in our Home there... :')
We were waiting for Lily and Victor, they came and visit us that last night before the day our flight was due to depart. 
Meeting them for the last time broke my heart...
They gave us gifts and a card which they insisted we read it once we're in Malaysia ;)
And we gave them a book full of printed photos of our times together.
I thought the book was nothing, but Lily cried the moment she finished looking through all the photos. 
Then she hugged me tightly..

She's the first and only person who cried...
Not only for the fact that we're leaving, but for all the moments we've had and memories we've created together.. :')





This photo was taken on the day our flight was due to depart...
This was the view from our balcony at the back.
This was morning... a very beautiful and bright morning... 
A warm winter I would call it :)



The empty house...
As empty as my heart... :'(





The empty bathroom....



The kitchen window where I used to sit by and sipped my coffee...



My office... :)
Used to be my office hehe...





The staircase leading to our doorstep from the main door...



Our doorbell...



The last pic I took in front of the house before we got on the car and head to the airport...
This WAS our home...






This was my last view of the Museum...
The view I've always loved...
And I'll never have it again...
And I can never gaze at it again, except in photos... and of course in my memories :')

~~Sometimes, we never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory~~


Kaiserslautern Germany....
A place, I once called... Home...
Will always be in a wonderful way in my Memory lane..
Always always... :')










6 comments:

ishamizu said...

Sedihnya..i feel you, KNana. Izu ni pon wpon ada bbrp bln lg nak balik dah terasa sayu dah nak tgl kan rumah ni, this neighnourhood, this area n the city n country itself. sedih dan pilu sgt..:'(

Apapun, ni la hakikatnya, kita kene terima dgn sabar dan tabah..dan bgantung kpd Allah sepenuhnya..in shaa Allah ada hikmahNya..

Glad to hear that Afeef, Fatini enjoy their new school, friends n environment.

Take care kNana! Keep us updated k! :)

Ninie Hanis said...

Sedih tau baca entry ni.. Ninie pun dpt rasa perasaan kak nana tinggalkan Germany. Nak2 pulak tempat di mana kita mulakan hidup baru. Haihh..apapun tabahlah ye kak nana. Takpe lama2 kak nana biasalah tu. Bab mkn mesti seronok kan?

Kak Izu pun dah nk balik? Ala...

Miss Anna said...

Thanx izu... Alhamdulillah k.nana pun dah over it, tak sedih mana dah :) sekali sekala teringat la jugak, tapi x la macam 1st week hrtu. Sebulan dua sblom balik hrtu pun k.nana dah sayu jugak, tapi ada la rasa x sabar nak balik mesia, tapi bila dah betul2 dekat nak balik, sedih sesangat ler pulak, rasa x boleh terima pun ada huhu..
Tapi cam izu cakap la, kena beserah pada Allah, insyaAllah klu betul2 redha, sabar dan doa, kita akan happy again, infact lebih happy dari waktu kat sana dulu.. :) i'm heading to that insyaAllah...

sitiezahim said...

actually i pon nangis jugak lepas borak dengan u harituh.. terasa rindu sangat dengan u, harapnya dapat jumpa lagi insyaAllah.. tengok gamba2 umah u tu saya pon bergenang air mata. teringat dulu kita ramai2 masak.. sob sob sob

Miss Anna said...

Ninie, thank you kerana memahami. :)
Bab makan tu memang best lah, hehe, macam2 dah pekena. Cuma a bit expensive compared to dulu2. And budak2 mmg sronok sgt lah, kat DE dulu bnyk x halal, sini bnyk yg halal, tu yg diorang syok sgt. Tak sebut dah rumah and kawan2 kat sana. Alhamdulillah.. Agaknya sbb tu k.nana pun dah mula rasa hepi sbb anak2 dah hepi :)
Derang pulak cakap, klu mama hepi, x sedih lagi, derang pun hepi, sweet je.. Timbal balik, kena kerjasama la, so both sides boleh hepi :)

iu rf said...

welcome home kak ana,
Insya Allah lama2 nanti akan biasa..
ingat-ingat kat german mmg takkan lupa... mmg best kat sana.. sematkan dalam hati, simpan dalam kenangan.. =D

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