Assalamualaikum wbt...

How do you define Happiness?

You can have so many people around you but yet your heart is empty...

Or you can have not a single person around and yet your heart is full...

But as for me, this is the real key to happiness:

Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah . Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured." Ar-Rad: 28

And this song too... My all time favorite :)

it 

Nowadays, this song means so much to me... You know, for someone like me who'd just discovered the real meaning of happiness... (",)

I've been contemplating on whether I should quit playing piano or not? 

It doesn't feel right anymore to play musical instruments, but it doesn't feel right to quit

either...

Everytime I feel so sure to quit, there's always a comment on You Tube that made me change my mind again..

How can I quit when some people  benefit a lot from my videos....

Ok, lets get to today's story~~~~ I have successfully undergone a medical procedure which I feared since I was a child.. Ahah! 

Endoscopy that is...

So scared that I could barely concentrate on anything for these past few days..

But friends keep telling me, 

"Don't worry so much, Allah is near!"

Yesss it's true, Allah is near, no one can help reduce my fear, prevent me from any possible complications, not even these expert German doctors! Even though Germany is well advanced in medical facilities, I'm not convinced... 

So, I had an appointment at 7.30am this morning, barely had a good sleep last night too, and I went alone, I kept praying to Allah to make everything smooth...

On the verge of tears I entered the operation room when they called my name..

This procedure is probably nothing to some people, but for me who have had so much fear for this since I was small, it was NO NOTHING... It was scary... I wouldn't have gone through it if it wasn't for Allah who had given me the strength..

Really, I could feel the strength in me that I couldn't describe... A strength that was never there when I was supposed to undergo an Endoscopy about a year ago..... Yeah yeah, they made an appointment for me before but I'd never turned up hehe.. 

So, the best part was, today they asked me whether I want to sleep or wide awake while they perform the procedure.

Of course, I chosed to sleep... 

Despite that, I still had this tiny fear for something like this: 

      "What if I wake up in the middle of the procedure?"

      "What if I sleep, but could feel everything? And won't be able to do anything! 

        Oh Nooooo!"

        Again, "Allah is near..."

So, one of the nurse sprayed something at the back of my throat.. Wild thoughts spinning in my head... 

I felt like running out the door.... I've never had any serious stomach pain, do I really need this??

I'm putting myself at risks of complications for having an Endoscopy!

Again, "Allah is near..... "

Who's your best protector other than Allah right??"

I shouldn't fear and I should have faith in Allah..

Besides, this is my chance to discover if there's anything wrong inside, and certainly in a country far more advanced than Malaysia. I might have to go through Endoscopy eventually, either here or Malaysia?

So, when the doctor asked me to lie down, my heart was pounding so bad, I looked at the watch: 8.20am

And I told the Doctor to make sure that I'll sleep through out, and my voice quivered when I told him I don't want to remember any of these... 

He said "Sure, don't worry.." and I saw him preparing the needle and all, and I remember thinking, 

"Oh, when was the last time I had an injection, this will definitely hurt a bit, and I looked away, and........

 That's it... 

I woke up suddenly, briefly in a different room, with blurred vision, and feeling confused...

"Where am I? Why am I here?"

And I saw one elderly lady lie down next to my bed. I fell asleep again and woke up again to a voice waking me up. 

Feeling confused again, I looked at my watch, 9.30am!

Then it hit me! Oh, I was supposed to have an Endoscopy! Was it done?

The elderly had gone, only the nurse was there, and she was the one waking me up.. 

I asked her if they had done Endoscopy on me? And she said yes with a smile that tells me:

 "I understand.... It's normal to feel confuse..." Hehe...

She asked me if I was ok, she asked me to stand up and walk, I swayed a bit, my head spinning, and I felt dizzy... and then she helped me out the door..

      

But the funny thing was, how come I had no memory at all of being injected? I thought I was supposed to feel sleepy only after the injection, but I had no memory at all of being injected nor feeling sleepy! It's like a blink of an eye, and I was out even before being injected! What kind of a drug was that??!!! 

Phewwwwwww...... 

Nevertheless, I'm glad that it's all over now... Guess who helped pick me up at the clinic?

While hubby had to stay at home with the kids as kids presence are strictly prohibited during the procedure, Lily offered to help, she came and picked me up, not just that, she looked really concerned too.. That made me so close to tears again... :')

Lily and Victor are the ones who have been encouraging me to go through this.. And she helped me today with so much care and concern that I just had to hug her tightly before she left me at home....

We don't need so much, just a few are enough to make us feel complete..

Alhamdulillah...

So, fear not, for Allah is near... (",)

Till later, Assalamualaikum...

Moments.....(",)

Assalamualaikum wbt....

What's new?

We are going to leave Germany for good soon, insyaAllah this December, and guess what??!!

I can't wait! Very very excited, which is unlike me, who loves life in Germany so much...

I just wanna be positiv in everything, and appreciate all that Allah has given me and us!!

And, coincidently, Mike and Mara are leaving too...

Before us!!

So, we had dinner together last Tuesday at their place, so as to celebrate our remaining few days together. 

The kids was sooooooo excited, they love Mike soooo much..

Fatini prepared a drawing of Mike and Mara, but unfortunately I forgot to snap the pic!

Silly me... Hehe..

Haaaaaaaaaa there the lovely dinner!!!

Eh, lemang kah itew?

Ahah, yes it is 'lemang' and 'rendang' I prepared earlier for Aidiladha celebration :)

Mara had made a lovely Puerto Rican dish which I loved! 

And again, I forgot to snap.....

Taaaddaaaaaaaaa..... The lovely couple...

The lovely, sweet, romantic couple, they just got married a few weeks ago.

And they promised to visit us in Malaysia later, and I hope to see Mike and Mara junior by then... Hehe..

Desert time! Seriously, one of the best caramel pudding I've ever tasted.... I'm not a caramel pudding fan, but this one is an exceptional.... What a good cook she is.. :) and the kids loved the pudding too..

After dinner's over, the kids had a blast playing with Mike... Mike would always always entertain them anywhere, everywhere.... The kids just love him.. It's kinda sad that we have to go on our own separate ways... :( 

I wish we could be neighbors longer....

Part of Life ~~ Meet and Depart...

But memories of these will remain...

And most importantly, I'd learnt valuable lessons from each and everyone I've met here, they have filled some missing puzzles of my life and added colors to it, and I'm glad!!

Alhamdulillah...

Ps: There's a lot I wanna share, but I hardly have the time to write...

InsyaAllah I'll write about our trip to one of the biggest International Book fair last Sunday, where we met many Malaysian, where the most terrifying experience happened to me the same day, (I've lost Aleena huhu)..... 

That is a long story, I'll write about that later, right now, I have a headache... 

Dapat daging kambing kurban sebesar peha Aleena hehe, eh, ke lagi besar dari peha Aleena?

Pekena sup kambing sepanjang hari, mana tak pening hehe.. 

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa tu dia..... 

Syukur Alhamdulillah... (",)

Till later, Assalamualaikum... (",)

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Another interesting 'sharing is caring' after Tadarus session yesterday, a must watch!

Not to convince ourselves of the words of Allah SWT, but to strenghtened our Iman insyaAllah...

"We will show them our SIGNS in the horizons and WITHIN THEMSELVES until it becomes clear to them that it is the TRUTH..." (Fussilat: 53)

"In the earth there are SIGNS for those who seek TRUTH to BELIEVE... and in YOUR OWN SELVES! So, do you not perceive?" (Adh-Dhariyat: 20-21)

The man who made the announcement at the end of this video, is a Professor also an Emryologist and you can read about him more: HERE. 

He made a statement that stunned people:

"It has been a great pleasure for me to help clarify statements in the Qur’an about human development. It is clear to me that these statements must have come to Muhammad from God, or Allah, because most of this knowledge was not discovered until many centuries later. This proves to me that Muhammad must have been a messenger of God or Allah". 

He admitted this! 

Wow, curious, I googled about him last night and was surprised and dissapointed at the same time to learn that he denied converting to Islam after he had discovered these Scientific proofs in Al-Quran... But that was way back in 1990, I read a few articles last night, and some people said he had eventually converted to Islam like many other Scientists did after what they've discovered in Al-Quran. 

But, you know what, it doesn't matter, whether he converted or not, because Allah SWT has given clear answers regarding the nonbelivers:

"Look at all the SIGNS in the Heavens and The Earth. All the proofs and all the warnings can never help people who decided to disbelieve..." (Surah Yunus: 101)

"Surely for those who have disbelieved, it is all the same whether you warn them or you warn them not: THEY DO NOT BELIEVE..." (Al-Baqarah: 6)

It's very clear isn't it? So, it's not surprising if someone discovered these miracles in Al-Quran but still refused to believe... 

Till later, Assalamualaikum wbt.. :)

The Miracles...

Assalamualaikum wbt..

I was listening to Nouman Ali Khan recent speech in Malaysia, interestingly he talked about the miracles of Al-Quran. So what occur to your mind when someone brings this subject up? 

I used to say, Al-Quran has lots of miracles, but I never really knew what they were, except of course it heals and soothes my soul in a way I could never explain... 

But, I was never aware of these other miracles, that is the linguistic miracles.... 

Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan said;

"The miracles of the Al-Quran lies in its Arabic language.."

How can it be? 

Interestingly, he said the word used to describe Al-Quran is actually not 'miracle' in Arabic, but "I'Jaz Al-Quran" instead...

 And the meaning of "I'Jaz" is something like, to bring someone to his knees... 

So how relevant is this?

It means that, no matter how someone tries to find faults or weaknesses in Al-Quran, or to counter it, or to deny it, they will only eventually retreat and give in and fall to their knees, for they will only find truth and revelation in it...

And one of the best part about his speech was when he shared his own experiences about this, about his own studies of the linguistic miracles of Al-Quran...

 He said, there were times when he had to stop, and go to a corner and just sit there, and cry and cry and cry.... 

For what he had discovered was too overwhelming for him, and of course for us too if we're willing to bring ourselves to discover it...

Ok, let me just share one of these miracles, this video is also a lecture from Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan, shared by my friend during Tadarus session. This one is one of my favorites, it's amazing....
SubahanAllah!!!!

In above video, he'd asked us to look at this ayah:

Surah Yaseen, 40;

It is not allowable for the sun to reach the moon, nor does the night overtake the day, but each, in an orbit, is swimming.

Focus on this in above ayah:

  ……كل في فلك……. 

Its meaning is : Orbitting, rotating....

Look at its arrangement carefully;

                                           ك   ل   ف   ي   ف   ل   ك

The 1st, the last, the 2nd and 2nd last, the third and the third last, notice it? 

And amazingly they seemed like as if they are 'rotating' aroud ي and the word كل في فلك itself means 'rotating'...

Wow...... 

I found this utterly amazing, how Allah has arranged every single letter, word, so beautifully, and they were perfect!

So, this is just one example of the linguistic miracles of the Al-Quran, there are many many more, feel free to listen to Nouman Ali Khan's lectures, they are all over You Tube. And you know what, the more I discover these miracles, the more my knees wobbled, these were words from Allah SWT and when we really try to understand each messages in the Quran deeply, we'll feel the connection with our Creator, and yesss, there were times when all I wanna do is just to get down on my knees and cry...

SubhanAllah.....