Monday, June 10, 2013

A HaPpY CiRcLE In LiFe (",)


It's been a while since my last update, dunno why, I was always  sooooo not in the mood to write... 
As usual there were many many many stories to tell, but, they were left untold.... But then again, not everything we did, or happened in ourlives were meant to be shared...


But one thing worth sharing here, is about my Usrah group...


What I wanna share is not about the usrah itself, or who's the member, or what our activities were when we get together, but... My attitude towards it...

This Usrah group started about 2 years ago, just me and one friend, she lives quite far from my place.. We started just the two of us, and we started doing it online through Skype..

As time went on, the members of the gropup increased from two, to three, four, and by now, it has grown quite huge with about 8 members.. InsyaAllah, there'll be more later :)
We met regularly online, we kept reminding each other of our purposes in life, and after each session, I would feel more content, refreshed and....... Complete...

But, there was one turning point where I felt so wrong, so not in the mood for this usrah thingy where I just felt like quitting..  I was so close to doing so, sooooo close, and perhaps if I did, that would be one of the biggest mistake I've ever made and the stupidest thing I've ever done my whole life...
Really....

Thankfully, when I was in this state of confusion, hubby kept guiding me, and kept telling me, no matter what my reasons were to quit usrah, just don't quit...
Yeah, it worked a few times, but not always..... From time to time, I still felt wrong at heart...

But, thankfully again, when I was in UK about two months back, a friend who was also our usrah group member sent me a very very beautiful article, heart whelming, and just what I really needed at that time... It was basically about usrah, and how the Author revealed her own experiences relating Usrah, how at one point she also wanted to quit, and how she felt that she benefits nothing from Usrah, and how wrong she felt about the whole thing... Oh my, exactly like how I felt at that moment!!

But, as she was telling her stories, I didn't quite feel anything until the last part, when she wrote bout how she realized what she was about to do was totally wrong and that she mentioned specifically that, if we ever felt like quitting or not joining usrah when we had the chance, we were actually falling into the Jahilliyah trap or chain, or whatever you wanna call it...
Oh ya Allah!! I remember gasping at that...

".......Falling into the Jahilliyyah trap......"

Tears started welling up in my eyes, at the thought of how I got carried away until I never realized what  had happened, and another thought hit me, about how hubby, friends, sister and my mom tried to help me, not letting me fall or not letting me fall further into this trap by giving me advices, but nothing seemed to really worked, because, it was me, it was all me... It was my sick heart... 

Yes... Every single thing happens for a reason, every single thing that had happened there's something to learn, every single people we meet in our lives has his or her own significance.. No matter how good or bad, we should always be thankful for their existence in our life even if one relationship ended up ruefully....
Some people I met here changed my life tremendously, and I believed I've changed some other people's life too, and I hope in a positive way...
So, my being in UK had a huge impact in my life too and a huge turning point too regarding Usrah particularly...
How??

My sister and her family live in a neighborhood surrounded by many Malaysian families, I even had the chance to meet some of them while I was there, and they had these arrangements of Usrah where they took turns which house should the Usrah being held each week. My 2nd week there, they were supposed to have one usrah session at a nearby friend's house. And my sister, who'd just gave birth to her 2nd child and still in confinement period, planned to attend it and even asked me and my mom to come along.. She even planned to bring her baby along...
I was already a lil bit amazed by her courage but not until she told me exactly one day before the Usrah was due, that unfortunately the 'naqibah' could not make it and that other members of the group planned to just cancel the usrah session for that week...
But, to my amazement, my sister refused to cancel it, and she volunteered to be the 'naqibah', and I watched her study and read something from a book at about midnight with her baby by her side, sometimes my sister had to cuddle her and breastfeed her, but still she reads...
Oh my, that was the huge turning point for me... How determined, how she refused to give up so easily even for one Usrah session...
Not only that she has strong reasons to cancel the Usrah, the absent 'naqibah', her being in confinement period, but she tried hard not to cancel it.. 
But me??????!!!!
I wanted to quit usrah for reasons I wasn't sure what they were, let alone fight for it?? Haaaaahhhh..
I've never felt so humiliated my whole life.. Not to anyone, but to myself particularly and of course to Allah SWT....
But, I knew, things happened for a reason... Two weeks in UK changed my attitude towards Usrah entirely, apart from the wonderful times with the loved ones :)
Seeing the Ukhwah between them, I realized I'm given the chance, eventhough I didn't get to meet my usrah group member so often, (we meet online regularly) but once we get together it was among the best moment in Deutschland... Something worth remembering my whole life insyaAllah..
Like over two weeks ago, we met again for a little picnics and bbq, and chit chatting and games!! ;)
It was great...






Ahah, game time!! This is our envelope that contains questions, it's a game we played in pair, each group consists of husband and wife haha..
Cool and Nice (",)



A little picnic too... hehe.. 
There's Sushi, Satay, Kerabu rice, fried bihun, BBQ meat, chicken, squid, prawns, etc etc...
Yummy yummy..



Things didn't just stop there... More realizations hit me... Like a clogged pipe suddenly cleared from blockage, and water started flowing in, that was how everything started flowing in my head... 
I realized how special these friends I have, how kind, how they appreciate me.. How some of them noticed that I kind of dictance myself away from the whole Usrah thing, but still they never left me out, they kept persuading me in their own way, still gave me a chance and space whenever I needed it...
And most importantly, I noticed how forgiving each member of this Usrah group..

Non of us are perfect, I guess theres something lacking in our usrah group at some point last time that made me decided to quit, but... If we wait for things to be perfect, then I guess we're never gonna get anywhere.. We have to be the one to help make it perfect, fix the problems, and work together instead of just chose to leave.. Like the saying goes, 
"Don't wait for a perfect moment, but take the moment and make it perfect... "
Yeah... I guess I learnt my lessons, alhamdulillah... ;)

Alhamdulillah..... alhamdulillah... alhamdulillah... alhamdulillah...

I feel so good nowadays, and I did wonder, what would my life be like if I really quitted? 
Miserable I guess haha..
Wouldn't I be??

Abu Hurairah and Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "When a group of people assemble for the remembrance of Allah, the angels surround them (with their wings), (Allah's) mercy envelops them, Sakinah, or tranquillity descends upon them and Allah makes a mention of them before those who are near Him.''

Right?
Even if life's not miserable, my heart would be empty....
And... what a waste to miss all the things shared during each Usrah session..

So, never ever doubt the benefits of any assembly made for the remembrance of Allah... 
NEVER!!
If you encounter problems, try to fix it, not run away!

Lastly, I played a song specially for my Usrah group members...
And it's also meant for my mom, hubby and sister, who have always guided me through whenever I seemed to have lost my way and direction... :')
Thank You...

So here it is,
~~~~~ Sebuah Pertemuan~~~~~ 




~~USRAH~~~
 Bulatan gembira, bukan untuk mereka yang alim2 dan bertudung labuh sahaja, ia untuk semua...
~~~Wardina~~~




Ps: Sorry for any mistakes in my writing... My English isn't perfect, but I'm trying my best... (",)




3 comments:

Eta said...

baca ni tetiba rindu usrah circle eta dulu, mcm faham je ape yg k.ana nk gambarkan perasaan best tu. rindu sgt2 nk bercircle lg. =)

sitiezahim said...

sedih baca entri u kali ni.. huhuhuhu

ishamizu said...

Salam kak Nana

bestnya bkumpul and picnic dgn ahli usrah tu..alhamdulillah dpt tambah ilmu..and izu ada dgr melalui kawan Hisham yg kt Loughborough derg mmg aktif berusrah ..:)

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