FirSt & LaSt... (",)

Assalamualaikum wbt..

Pheeeeewwwwww.......

A lot of things happened for these past few days, good, bad, and of course lots of new lessons learnt too... 

Yeah, we always want to share all the good news with others and keep the bad ones only to ourselves, that's human... We want people to think that we are happy all the times!!

but... That's not what life is all about, life has ups and downs, and by sharing the downs, you could possibly help others too.. 

I would love to share what I've gone through for these past few days and lessons learnt from it....

But, I'm gonna need sometimes to write about it. 

For today, I just wanna share a lil bit more about DE hehe!! Tak habis2....

Hey, Don't get me wrong, I'm actually turning a new leaf!!

Actually, I've been looking for this particular photo for a few months, but couldn't find it, I thought I have inadvertantly deleted it from my PC and camera, and was about to give up hope and get over it a few days ago, when I suddenly found it again!

Hoooraaayyyyy!!

Why is this photo so important anyway????

This was our last snowfall in Kaiserslautern Germany!! 

It was in Mac 2013, we didn't expect snowfall at all, it was suppoesed to be the time for Frühling (Spring)!!!

But, we were out in town, it was unexpectedly cold outside, and suddenly, snow fell down so heavily!

One of the heaviest I've ever experienced in my 4 years there. So, we quickly snapped this photo. 

I remember telling hubby, "This could be our last snowfall here.."

And it's true.. It was our last snowfall in Deutschland :') 

It was one of the most memorable moments in DE... Yes it was... (",)

And this.....

..... was our very first day experiencing snowfall there... 

This photo warms my heart everytime I look at it... 

Our very first snowfall!!

It means so much to me...

It was in December 2009, We just moved in into our home, a few days later it started snowing, we were all super excited and of course very 'jakun' hehehe! 

Oh, those memories.... 

I was pregnant with Aleena, that's why she's not in this photo ;)

Afeef was 5 and Fatini was 2 years old... 

Memories are what we have with us now.... The kids and I still reminisce about our times there once in a while... we talked about it, we laughed at certain memories, we tried hard to remember every single thing in the house, every corner of the house....but we don't really feel the pain of losing something anymore, it's more like sharing our feelings and making sure non of us forget how the place was once looked like, and every route we used to take.. 

Mmmmmm.... Get over it ok!! 

Okay, okay.... I'm almost there! There, where every memories don't hurt anymore, instead they make me smile, and I'm grateful for their existence in my life :)

Ok la, enough of the past, just to share those two most important moments in my life, captured and saved in this blog forever... InsyaAllah...

Life's Like That...

Till later, Salam....

(",)

A New Beginning... (",)

Assalamualaikum wbt...

It's been more than a month since the day we left DE for good...

But, I'm still not 100% over it...

I don't wanna cling so strongly to those memories, but... 

They keep haunting me!

Every single thing I do, remind me of something related to our life in DE!

Haaaaaiiihhhh....

Yeah, never mind, Time will heal... I'm grateful to have my family with me even if I can't have my life in DE again... There are lots of other good things here anyway, and I just have to open my eyes and be thankful for what I have, for instance, I have a new job now...

 I'm a driver!

Errrrrrrrr.... actually, I have always been a driver, only in DE I've done the job without a car.. mmmmm... whatever..

So, this time, I really am a driver, I picked them both up everyday from school!

First Fatini, then Afeef with Aleena as my co driver hehe...

So, this is Afeef infront of his new school:

This was the day when he had Maulidul Rasul celebration... 

Wow! Handsome tak??

He called it, baju Malaysia.. Baju Melayu la Afeef! hehe...

I kinda enjoy my new routine now, sometimes I took the kids to Ice cream store after school, there's Secret Recipe nearby too, and a Satay house, hey, Pekan Pahang isn't so bad after all!! ;)

Still, there isn't a day that gone by without me thinking of our life in Germany.. **sigh***

It's ok, life isn't always a bed of roses, this worldly life is nothing but just pastime and game... 

Life's Like That...

I guess, I'm finally ready for a new beginning... 

But, life in Deutschland will remain as the most beautiful memories I've ever had in my 34 years of Life..

And I know, after this, every year in Mac, I'll think of Spring, every June, I'll think of Summer, every September I'll think of Autumn and every December, I'll think of Winter :)

My only wish is to have the chance to experience those seasons again, no where else but in Kaiserslautern Germany..... insyaAllah :)

Ok, lastly, this is suppossed to be an entry about Fatini's Birthday on the 30th January which was last Thursday. But, I've been busy that I hadn't had the time to update.

And, there's not much to say except that, she's the happiest person nowadays, who enjoyed life in Malaysia very much!

She has best friends already and I'm so happy for you Fatini Az-Zahra, you are 6 years old now, a big girl!

My doa is always with you, may Allah SWT guide you through always2...

:)

This year's Birthday was far more meaningful and memorable, celebrated with Tok, aunties, uncles, cousins, and best of all, with her favorite Aunty!

Happy 6th Birthday Fatini...

You complete us..

(",)

Till later, Salam..

It's been 10 years!

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Happy anniversary to hubby and me... 

Been too busy for the past few weeks, I've almost forgotten this important date!

It's been 10 years, today is our tenth anniversary, we went out celebrating a little achievement Afeef had done in school, but I totally forgot that it's our anniversary!!! .... Silly me, I guess i've lost track of time.. Haaaaiiihhh... Hehe

Hey, don't blame me, I'm a busy house wife :P

Nevertheless, it is our anniversary, alhamdulillah, ten years of marriage, with ups and downs that only made us mature and stronger...

And, it is our first anniversary in Malaysia after 4 years....

In our new Home... :)

May Allah give us happiness and guide us through fid dunya wal akhirah ;)

A Place, I once called... HOME...

Assalamualaikum wbt...

So, it's been 3 weeks....? 

Really??

Felt like years..... Ahah... Time is too slow for those who wait..... 

Errrr..  what am I waiting for?? 

I don't know.... 
My mind keep spiraling around the same thing everyday;

Our first day in Deutschland, Afeef's first day at kindergarten, Afeef's first day at school, Fatini's first day at kindergarten, the route I used to take to fetch Afeef from school during his first few months schooling, the route I used to take fetching Fatini from Kindergarten, the beautiful views that often took my breath away.... Our home there... I miss the smell of the cool air, I miss to see the beautiful light casted by the sun particularly during Spring and Autumn when the sun's slanting at an angle casting a very very beautiful light that makes the view so much like in a fantasy land... 

I miss to watch sunsets from our window...

I miss the library where I used to take the kids after school.. I miss the coffee there, the kind and friendly people, tadarus friends, the shops, the cleanliness, the freedom form worrying... I miss to walk alone and feel safe.. I miss to sit by the window, sip my hot coffee, watch people go by for their daily routine, and I miss the tranquility I've always felt there.... Yes... That's it... Tranquility....

That tranquility I used to feel is no longer with me....  replaced by something else... Something that makes me feel trapped, suffocated.... Haaiiiiihhhh... Mmmmmm... I still can't let it go huh? Seemed like it.

Hubby said, "Your life began there.. That's why you miss Deutschland so much..."

Yess it's true.. My life began there... 

So much I've learnt in Deutschland too... 

Nevertheless, no matter how empty my heart feels sometimes, I remain composed infront of the kids, so that they too will not long for the life we've once had, let it just be the most beautiful memories that will remain intact in our hearts. 

Life has to go on...

I'm not going to waste my time reminisce about the past, instead I will make our life here as meaningful as it once was. Though sometimes I couldn't help myself hehe... It became a routine now that I must click to see the weather in Kaiserslautern Germany everyday, and stare into space once in a while thinking about that beautiful feelings and times we had there, and browse through old photos during our early months there....

Only time will heal.... 

On the positive sides, a lot of things have fallen neatly into places... 

Like, we've got a car, a home within the first week in Malaysia with Afeef's school just a few steps away, and what's more? 

Afeef is adapting well with the new environment in school, and picking up well with all the subjects too. And he already has some friends. And he seemed happy too.. Alhamdulillah..

Fatini just started kindergarten 3 days ago, and surprisingly she likes her new kindergarten very much, and she got along well with everyone there.... Though the kindergarten is not as nice as the one she went to in DE, but she likes it!! What else should I want?? The kid's happiness is my priority and that is all that matters to me ;)

I used to say this before, "If Allah wants us to be happy, we will be happy, no matter where we live our life.." 

I strongly believe in this, this is infact my strength nowadays, because I know, sometimes the only way for us to achive something or to be happy with our life, is to first go through what we despise and be patient with it. I'm certain, as long as I put my trust in Allah, there's something more for me to learn here, something more meaningful awaits me..... What I have in Deutschland was just some part of it, what I'm gonna have in Malaysia is the rest of it... InsyaAllah...

Some photos from our last day in DE:

The last night in our Home there... :')

We were waiting for Lily and Victor, they came and visit us that last night before the day our flight was due to depart. 

Meeting them for the last time broke my heart...

They gave us gifts and a card which they insisted we read it once we're in Malaysia ;)

And we gave them a book full of printed photos of our times together.

I thought the book was nothing, but Lily cried the moment she finished looking through all the photos. 

Then she hugged me tightly..

She's the first and only person who cried...

Not only for the fact that we're leaving, but for all the moments we've had and memories we've created together.. :')

This photo was taken on the day our flight was due to depart...

This was the view from our balcony at the back.

This was morning... a very beautiful and bright morning... 

A warm winter I would call it :)

The empty house...

As empty as my heart... :'(

The empty bathroom....

The kitchen window where I used to sit by and sipped my coffee...

My office... :)

Used to be my office hehe...

The staircase leading to our doorstep from the main door...

Our doorbell...

The last pic I took in front of the house before we got on the car and head to the airport...

This WAS our home...

This was my last view of the Museum...

The view I've always loved...

And I'll never have it again...

And I can never gaze at it again, except in photos... and of course in my memories :')

~~Sometimes, we never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory~~

Kaiserslautern Germany....

A place, I once called... Home...

Will always be in a wonderful way in my Memory lane..

Always always... :')

6 More days.....

6 more days...

6 more days, and I'm gonna have to put all these behind...

6 more days, and I'm gonna have to let go...

6 more days, and I'm gonna have to start a new life... 

A new beginning... 

But...

It feels so...... Wrong...

A few months ago, I was super excited to leave..

The idea alone made me feel so alive.

But, as we are nearing the day, the emptier my heart feels...

As empty as the house as more and more stuffs being packed in a box or thrown away..

The more I watched Afeef so close to tears whenever he talked about how sad he is to leave his best friends, the more my heart sinked.. There were times, when sadness was too overwhelming that I felt my throat constrict, and my chest felt heavy that I felt like as if I'm choking.. 

Haaaiiiihhh... Can you believe this??

Yeah yeah... That's me... I became extremely emotional these days..

It is way past midnight  now, and midnight is the time where sadness reach its peak... Oh so much memories playing in my head over and over again.... 

 I found it hard to sleep lately, coz I hate waking up in the morning and know that I have less days in Deutschland. 

I've been waiting to watch the last snow fall, but seemed like there'll be no snow fall this year.. 

Aha.... Tak de rezeki...

I know, I'll miss Deutschland terribly...

I know only time will heal....

Only time will heal.... 

Till later, Assalamualaikum wbt... 

 :')